Love. Love. Love. Everyone craves it. Everyone desires it. Everyone thinks of it. Everyone comes from it. However, everyone seems to be deathly afraid of it. Okay, maybe not every single human on the planet but a high percentage of folks push against love, even when it’s presented in its purest form. People put boundaries on love, place high expectations on love, create rules for love, mistake fear as love and the list goes on and on and on. Why is this the case? Why is the most natural thing on this planet feels so scary to us?
Perhaps, it is because we are constantly inundated with fear-based programming, especially when it comes to relationships. Let’s break down a typical relationship, shall we? So, someone meets someone and there is a nice chemistry. One asks the other out on a date and the other accepts the sweet offer. Now, depending on the type of person, one or both parties may already feel a sense of fear, asking frivolous questions like “How does my hair look?” or “Will this person think it’s weird I do x,y and z?” However, some people are more relaxed and their anxiety comes at a later point which usually leads into questions like “Is this person great for the long haul or for a moment?” or “Can I truly commit to this person?” No matter how the relationship builds, fear rears its ugly head at almost every step, making partners super cautious of each other. Due to society’s conditioning, most people would call this a normal, healthy relationship. Interesting, right? Even when one has made the ultimate commitment, there are lots of fearful thoughts, usually boiling down to “What if this doesn’t work out and we end up getting a divorced?”
The programming also shows up while single. After a certain age, folks start talking, asking questions and wondering if he or she will ever get married, have children and live the traditional lifestyle that we have been so brainwashed to think is the best outcome for our existence. There is also the constant fear of being alone as well. Of course, the obvious question would be “If you can’t enjoy your own company, then how do you expect anyone else will?” That’s another post for another day, though.
With all of these fear-based thoughts, how can love really flow fluidly if there are so many blockages? How can we break from the fear-based programming and allow love to flow freely in our intimate relationships? Let’s talk about it!