what would life be like if small talk was real talk?


Can you imagine if small talk was actually like real talk where people were completely honest with one another? Oh, how interesting life would be if this dream came true. It would definitely be a whole lot more colorful. Let’s imagine together what some of these conversations would be like, shall we?

Conversation 1: The Mistaken Greeting


“Fuck, how did you know? Shit, can you see my eyes through my sunglasses? I know I should’ve worn the –”

“Bruh… I was just saying hi as a greeting but it’s good to know who to call on 4/20.”

“Oh my bad man, you know how this shit can make you a little paranoid sometimes.”

“I know all too well my friend.”

Conversation 2: The Movie Too Intriguing To Ignore

“Hey, how are you?”

“I’m great actually. I just went to the movies and saw this incredible film about this guy who is like unsure about what to do with his girlfriend because she is not actually a girl but really a –”

“I’m sorry to interrupt but I really just asked to see how you’re doing, not what you were doing. I apologize if that question was confusing for you. However, that film does sound interesting — what was the girl actually?”

Conversation 3: The Typical Networking Exchange

“What do you do for a living? I’m asking because I want to see if I can use you to further my career or not.”

“Oh well, that’s kind of you to think so highly of me. Let me just talk about myself for awhile so that I can feel worthy of your attention in hopes that’ll impress you enough to ask me for my business card.”

“Okay, that sounds like that’s worth the exchange.”

Conversation 4: The Too Happy In The Morning Barista

“Good morning my favorite customer! How’s it going buddy!? You want the usual?”

“One, I am not your buddy. I don’t even use that terminology and two, I am going to my office where I can close my door and be at peace for the first 30 minutes of my Monday morning because I truly need it in my life. You see, this past weekend, I smoked a little too much to the point where I ended up watching this super strange movie about some guy not being able to be with this girl who wasn’t really a girl–Anyway, the point is that I am not in the mood to chit chat with you right now because I haven’t had my coffee yet. I really hope you understand.”

“Oh, I understand completely. Thanks for being honest during our small talk and here’s your ice cold coffee for your ice cold heart.”

“Thank you! I appreciate that minus the last sentence.”

“Anytime! That’s what’s small talk is for.”

Ah… Wouldn’t life be grand if small talk was like that? Maybe? Nah? What do you think? And how do you think conversations would be like if small talk was real talk? Let me know below!

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