the words that come out when you have nothing to say

I stare at blank screens, blank pages and blank thoughts, waiting for a letter, a word, a sentence, an emotion to jolt me back to life. I walk away from the stale canvas and begin to pace in my private space - back and forth I go - collecting as many random thoughts as possible in hopes that one will be the starting point of pure magic. It's rare to have one of those magic moments as a writer or perhaps, that's just the case with me. However, I find it hard to believe that someone can have the stars align perfectly that many times unless it's someone at their highest creative state.

I'm not at my highest creative state.

Therefore, I live in blank scenes, blank pauses and blank times, waiting for the perfect moment to finally fill in the emptiness with feelings and frequencies. Until then, I'm silent, even when words appear to be right on schedule - I'm silent. Old words do not count as utterances of the present so my presence is a pleasant lie. Most will not notice my faux pas. In fact, I am willing to bet that no one sees this but me.

No one sees this but me.

Blank moods inspire blank hues so no wonder I've been bankrupt with words. I have no deposit since I've been completely depleted for a while now. I got to gather some experiences, some literature, some stories, and some energy to infuse my genuine love for the written word. Until then, I'll whisper a little...

I can always whisper.

my sister & a sprig of rosemary: a funny story on the power of synchronicity

Have you ever planned a major meal and browsed through your local grocery store only to find out that a major ingredient is missing? Have you ever felt the heartbreak of such a tragic event when your entire menu seems to crumble into pieces even if you have all the other ingredients for everything else? You simply want to give up your chef’s hat and walk away in defeat but then, something miraculous happens and you know that God is on the look out for the cookout - literally.

Let me tell you the story about my sister and a sprig of rosemary. So this past weekend, my sister planned this elaborate meal for a belated Thanksgiving family celebration. Being the good sister I am, I met up with her the day before to help her prepare for the occasion, including grocery shopping. While going up and down the aisles, we both gathered the necessary items that were on our list with ease until something absolutely horrifying stopped us in our tracks -

There.

was.

no.

rosemary.

via GIPHY

We searched throughout the spice section in hopes to find any brand of rosemary but there was nada, nothing, zilch! I could see the anguish in my sister’s eyes and she told me that the chicken stock would not be the same without this key ingredient. After staring at the sparse section of seasonings, we eventually continued our shopping, a little more empty than we were when we arrived. There was a hole inside of us, especially my sister who was cooking the whole meal, that only that savory rosemary could fill.

To make ourselves feel somewhat better, we decided to put all the groceries away and go out to eat since cooking was out of the question at this point. Also, we love food a little too much. We went to a pretty fancy diner that really felt more like a cozy restaurant; and I immediately went towards the comfort food because the devastation was too much to bare without a warm dinner and a soothing drink. So my sister got her go-to dish - huevos rancheros. She was oddly in the mood for Mexican food. Hey, whatever makes you cope the best. For me, I got meatloaf, mashed potatoes and seasonal vegetables.

Now, this is when the hand of God was at work. My plate of food came out first and was placed right in front of me. My sister immediately noticed something magnificent at the center of my mashed potatoes -

A

sprig.

of.

rosemary.

via GIPHY

The way her eyes lit up, you would’ve thought she saw Mother Mary. Who knows? Perhaps, she had something to do with this incredible intervention from God. I mean really, what are the odds that a sprig of rosemary would be standing at attention in the middle of my mashed potatoes, like “Hey…you were looking for me”?

My sister quickly realized, more than ever before, the power of synchronicity and how awesome God can be during times of trouble. God can part the seas for a sprig of rosemary. God can put the thought in my head to get meatloaf (which I rarely get) in order to align everything just right for my sad sister. Her frown turned all the way up into a big smile and I turned into the best little sister ever by laughing at her excitement all the way home.

So let this story be a friendly reminder that when you are aligned with your purpose, God, the Universe, the All That Is, the Source will work with you to see it through, even if your purpose at the moment is cooking the best chicken stock that was hardly used.

don't let the media kill your positive vibe

Media operates on fear.

Not us.

Media breaks people apart.

Not us.

Media tries to stop folks from elevating.

Not us.

Look around you, my friend. That's real life.

The screens may fool you.

Don't let the mess consume you.

Don't allow the programs to control your mind.

Let it motivate you to become greater than ever before.

Let it move you towards love even more.

Let it inspire you to create something magical.

Let it push you into empowerment.

Let it guide you towards solutions.

Let it energize you towards education.

Let it center you in mindfulness.

Let it bring you to stillness.

Let it encourage you to be in community.

You want to stop the fear right?

You want to win the spiritual warfare right?

Then get inside your Universe and align your own stars.

Be the light at the end of our dark tunnel.

Be the love in the middle of brokenness.

Love is the silent revolution we've been waiting for.

Be one of the soldiers of love.

And just love.

new age ideology can get you f@$%ed up

Before you start cursing me out and calling me a hypocrite, let me explain. I would be considered a member of the "new age" crew. I am spiritual but not religious. I love doing angel card readings for myself and friends. I would like to align my chakras, and I believe in the third eye. I am also all about positive vibes and raising frequencies. I listen to meditative music at night. I even think I may have had a kundalini awakening around the age of 25. And the list goes on and on. I mean those are the qualifications for that "new age" life right? By the way, I don't honestly think new age is really that new but that's another story for another day. To make it simple, I will embrace the new age tag on my spirituality. However, I find a certain segment of new age ideology very dangerous if it is not balanced with a dose of practicality.

In life, it is always best to balance yourself in all respects especially when it comes to your livelihood. I have seen the following so many times in so many ways: "Follow your passion. If you don't like your job, quit." My reaction is "Bish what?" I understand that jobs can be a pain in the ass but let's take a step back and really think about that statement. Okay, so the first part is fine because I totally believe in following your passion. However, I don't know if it is smart to just up and quit your job because it does not align with your passion at the moment. You can always work your current gig and do your passion on the side until it becomes a full-fledged business for yourself. I think that is a nice way to follow your passion without going broke and hungry. I mean, the bills won't just disappear no matter how much we wish we can make those go away which leads me to my next point.

Law of attraction can only work if you work.

Another message that I see being pushed in the "new age" world is the law of attraction. I believe that the law of attraction is real and can work to our benefit. In fact, as I am writing this, I am on my way to a friend's house to create a vision board for the new year so that I can visualize my future with nice imagery. However, I know that you cannot just will things into your life by this superpower "law of attraction." The Universe still requires you to pursue the goals you set in order for the attraction to work. In other words, law of attraction can only work if you work. I feel that very important part of hard work is oftentimes missing from the law of attraction rhetoric and it is probably one of the most vital parts of making the law of attraction work in your life so yes, use law of attraction but be ready to work your ass off too!

In conclusion, if you are not careful with certain aspects of new age ideology, you will be fucked up and wonder what happened. Just keep balance in mind when raising your frequency, aligning your chakras and meditating on your future. All your dreams can come true but it takes a lot of focused energy, time, discipline, hard work and belief in self. So like my girl, Janelle Monae says, just stay on the tightrope and be balanced my fellow "new age" friends!

So, if you read this whole thing and still want to curse me out, please feel free do to so in the comments section below. Also, if you have anything you wish to add to this conversation, I'd love to hear from you as well. Let's talk about it!