A Series of Experiences, A Series of Scenes

Sometimes, I look at life as a series of experiences, a series of scenes. From this viewpoint, I am able to get a glimpse of what my higher self sees, why God makes the journey complicated and where I fit in the grand scheme of things. I am, we are, a tiny speck of pure magic that’s powerful beyond comprehension. However, with that power, it’s not our responsibility to wave it around our neighbor and proclaim it pridefully because we all got it so it’s not special to one entity; it just exists within each of us whether we realize it or not. When we do realize it, however, there is a sense of calm that envelopes us - sometimes in moments and other times in waves. This awareness allows us to take more chances and be more comfortable with sudden changes because we end up knowing that life is not that serious, even if it feels that way in our day to day. 

I remember one random time when I noticed this perspective during work. It was many moons ago and I was at a job that was seemingly draining at the time and suddenly, as I was walking down the usual hallway to my supervisor’s area, I felt this energy shift. It was almost as if I was in on the joke but had to hold it inside. I really wanted to laugh but only a small smirk peaked through and I couldn’t help but feel lighter, so much lighter. The job appeared to be a movie set and I was merely an actor playing her role in it. It’s almost as if I got a sneak peak of my higher self’s view. Unfortunately, this moment didn’t last long but I never forgot it and I hope to one day be able to have many more of those moments, those reminders of what life is through God’s eyes - a series of experiences, a series of scenes. 

a litany of thoughts at 12:49am

Why am I up? 

Must be for a reason

Finally had an urge to write

To design, to create

Playing in my bubble

my safe space

Thought about decorating it

as if it’s a new place

reflective of current life

shifts and changes

However decided to

keep it simple 

using minimal accents

to spruce up the energy

springing forth fave flowers

falling into love’s idiom 

Why am I up?

Work is tomorrow

tedious are my tasks 

and yet I sit aimlessly 

in my own thoughts and feels

without any sense of urgency

of the 12:54am on top of my screen

this moment is a vacay or a vacuum

or a vanity or a villain

Wonder how many ‘v’ words i know

let’s not play that vicious game

may feel limited and right now, 

I’d like to feel limitless, free floating

seamless in senselessness 

Why am I up?

Alarm will go off in about 4 hours

Is it insomnia? Or anxiety?

Stress disguised as peace?

Pure excitement of next week? 

Heat waking me up? 

Midnight bathroom breaks?

Slight fear of nightmares? 

Angels wanting to chat? 

1:02 am is the time

3 is a nice way to end 

so until next time, 

I’ll try to sleep again

A Poem About Waves, Wonders and Whispers

waves, wonders & whispers

gently sweep over me

oh powerful one

guide me on top of waves

oh patient one

ripple me into infinity

oh everlasting one

whisper in my mind

oh wise one

inspire wonder in my world

oh beautiful one

and i

oh little i

i'll try to keep my Eye open

so i can see you

oh incredible one

a poem i wrote when the thirst was real

desert

pardon my thirst

for I am quite parched

I have been walking along

The endless space of tiny grains

And the sweat has been the only liquid

My walk has slowed, my patience has lessened

And I see a drop from you but it’s not close enough

So if I appear frustrated or too eager, it’s due to your unknowing tease

With the possibility of finally quenching my perennial thirst

Summer Dreams

Sparkle for me
Light my eyes
with sun-kissed skies
and emerald green grass

Shine for me
Blind my sight
with starlit highs
and rose quartz nights

Summer for me
Fight my cries
With beach vibes
and citrine dreams

Scars, Stretchmarks, Cellulite, Oh WOW!

Ladies, do you remember the first time you looked at your body with the side-eye? You know that moment when you go to put on your favorite jeans and they feel a little tighter than you remembered? Or that time when you were in the department store trying on your size and that size starts acting brand new? Or that morning when you were just in your underwear and you casually walked by the mirror and did a double take? You know what I’m talking about. You’re thinking to yourself - "What the hell happened? Just yesterday, my butt was smoother than a cup of pudding and now it has the nerve to look more like a pot of grits!?” 

Typically, this is when we start to get down on ourselves or suddenly become motivated to hit the gym like tomorrow! Tomorrow comes and go and we’re like, “You know what? It ain’t that bad. I’ll be alright.” And guess what? You will be alright with your scars, stretch marks, and cellulite. I’d like to think it’s a sign of a life well lived. Now, don’t get it twisted. There is nothing wrong with exercising, eating right, and all that but embracing ourselves at all stages is so important to our health and our overall well-being. There’s a huge difference between changing a habit out of fear and changing a habit out of genuine love and compassion. Start with the love and then focus on the change because fear can truly sabotage any changes you make in your life. Your intention may hinder your attention. 

"Self-love doesn’t come in a certain size."

Before we begin to criticize ourselves or the next person for their so-called imperfections saying “Scars, Stretchmarks, Cellulite, Oh My,” flip the script and think “Scars, Stretchmarks, Cellulite, Oh Wow” and be amazed at the beauty of our human bodies and how much it changes over the years. Love the movements of your life that reside in your body. Self-love doesn’t come in a certain size. Believe it or not, it can fit everyone if we just decide to put it on and flaunt what our mamas gave us! 

Recently, I came across a video that truly takes this message home and I want to share it with you because self-love is so vital right now in this day and age and anyone who is spreading these great vibes deserve a shout out. Best-selling author Keisha Irvin posted a beautiful video about loving the skin you’re in so I highly encourage anyone who needs this reminder to watch below and embrace who you are right here right now! 

So whether you’re a size 2 or a size 22, please know that you are an amazing expression of all that is so own that and remember, God looks at you like…

via GIPHY

To see more videos from Keisha Irvin, click HERE and check out her best-selling books HERE.

4 Moments That Made Back To School Funny As F

Ah…September. A new season slides on in. Our favorite shows come back on TV. Our summer break is over. And for some of us, it’s time to go back to school. Speaking of which, remember when you were a youngin’ and you had to go back to school? Remember all the funny shit we used to do back then? Let’s go down memory lane! Here are 4 moments that made back to school funny as f:

1. Those damn back to school commercials. Remember when you were out and about, enjoying your summer days, going to the cookouts, to the parties, to the mall, watching your favorite videos on The Box and then flip through the channels and see this shit…

 Wasn’t that like the most annoying thing ever? You were just living your best life two seconds ago until you were reminded that your break is almost over. Thanks Staples for letting me know that my fun is almost done. Appreciate it!

2. Being low-key excited about those new school supplies. Despite the fact that those dreadful commercials would come on over and over again, you have to admit that you were ready to get that brand new trapper keeper and those pastel pens and those folders with the cool designs and that composition book that wasn’t black and white. Don’t lie. You were ready to show off your new book bag to everyone at school. Don’t front.

3. First day of school was the original New York Fashion Week. In addition to those new school supplies, you probably were getting your wardrobe revamped or trying to at least until your mama said “Hayle no” and you were stuck trying to make the old threads look brand new. Either way, we all can remember how everyone tried to put on their finest threads by the most top-notch designers like Karl Kani and LA Gear. New York Fashion Week had nothing on the first day of school.

4. The HGTV makeovers in our lockers. If you were fortunate to have lockers at your school, then that meant you could practice your interior decorating skills and get your Nate Berkus on with the inside of your lockers. Lockers weren’t just about personal belongings and books. Nah… lockers were a reflection of your style, of your life essentially. People used to put stickers, posters, mirrors, a refrigerator, couch… everything! I am still amazed at the artistry of it all.

And now that I think about it, none of these moments really pertain to actual learning which makes me realize how much the media and consumerism has really made us put value on things from a young age…

via GIPHY

But nevertheless, it was still funny as f! Ha!

Now, I know I ain’t the only one who remembers when back to school was lit on the low! Let me know of your back-to-school stories as a youngin. I’d love to read your experience and laugh my ass off!

A Personal Note About Mental Health

“...the demons that you’ve been dreaming up are angels under the pain...”

— James Fauntleroy

Sometimes, sunny days are the toughest for me. I let the sun rays peek through the blinds, may even crack the window and allow some fresh air to come in to my room. However, now and then, I am too depressed to be engulfed in its luminance. It’s strange, really. The sun is supposed to raise vibrations and here I am, feeling insecure around its presence. I snuggle in the bed longer. I step outside of my 4-wall confines only when it’s absolutely necessary. I would prefer no one to see me, to notice me, to look into my telling eyes. Essentially, I want no one to know the pain I am holding deep inside because I'd never want to burden anyone. Also, at times, there is no rhyme or reason behind my emotions. They just exist inside of me and there's no easy way to get rid of them. They just live and the most loving thing I can do is allow them to breathe in the moment.

I wish I could logically explain anxiety and depression in words for everyone to understand. I can’t. At least, not right now. I am in the middle of one of those days...one of those super quiet days when raw emotions speak loudest. It’s rough but I can handle it. I’ve been here before plenty of times and have pulled through. 

I will pull through. 

And you will too. 

Those of us who deal with mental illness are some of the most sensitive, beautiful human beings you can ever meet. I say this from a very humble place. We feel so boldly, so brilliantly that it’s hard for folks to handle - shit, it’s hard for us to handle. We are the bearers of the brokenness in this world and we hold the painful pieces in our hands delicately, hoping we don’t flounder them away into the abyss. Sadly, some of us do. And, we are reminded on how deeply those thoughts can go and pray that we are able to grasp the support that eludes us during those critical moments, trying our hardest to remember why we agreed to be here at this present time. We don’t know what 'normal' is and wonder if anyone truly upholds that title. Does it even exist? We don’t know because that’s not our experience. Nevertheless, if you think about it, our inner life is like a masterpiece with so many rich and muted colors swirling around in an abstract painting - I bet someone like Basquiat tried his hardest to express this in literal form. 

To anyone out there who is going through any kind of mental health issue, please know your life is one of the most touching pieces God has ever produced and the constant swings downward are just as magnificent as the pleasant swings upward. That movement back and forth brings us closer to the essence of humanity and solidifies a sense of empathy for all, consciously and subconsciously.  Whether you're swinging at an extreme speed or at a relatively steady pace, I pray that you please don’t stop swinging. Keep going. Keep digging your inner tunnel until you see light within and shine that little light as much as possible. The world needs it. We need you. Perhaps, one day the swing won't be pushed so hard and the motion will get to the point where we don't even realize we are swinging at all. What a day that would be. Until then, please remember...

You will pull through, my friend. 

And I will too. 

I worked at Walt Disney World & this is what happened

Have you ever gone to Disney World and wondered how the magic happens? Well I got to experience the magic and the mystery behind it at the same time. See I went to Disney World the first time when I was a freshmen in college after being accepted in their internship program. And you can say it was an interesting experience. How, you say? Well, let's start with the three strange, challenging and difficult parts.

1. The difference between the magical place and backstage. Hmm... how do I word this without Disney being on my back? Okay... let's say the place you all know looks like this, right?

Well, the backstage area was like...

Okay it's not that bad but there's a drastic difference with the environment, the people and even the energy. It's pretty cool though cause it means Mickey got some edge. I remember seeing Mickey backstage like ...

He's lovable either way! 😉 But seriously, it's hard in the D... isney.

2. The costume, the music and the themes. Imagine being in an old style dress, hearing country music all day and working in a barn-like place everyday. Okay that may be a dream for some of you but for this Philly R&B loving chick right here, it was like pulling teeth. However, I had to smile my way through it. I learned a lot about hiding my discontent which works well in retail and in life so yay? 😄

3. The twilight zone was nothing compared to my day to day. When I worked at Disney, Magic Kingdom to be exact, I started to hear the theme music of the Twilight Zone in my head. I sometimes felt like I was in another Universe. I mean the families started to all look the same, even the Black ones and the kids started to act alike to me. I remember one time, I was working at the restaurant counter where I would make drinks (the kid friendly ones) and I made this huge order of sodas and waters. Two seconds later, I had to dump the whole order because the family decided they wanted no ice after the fact. I was like... 😳 *cue the Twilight Zone  music* Unfortunately, this is just one of many examples where I had that facial expression  internally. Nevertheless, it taught me one major lesson in life - patience, hella patience, especially when I became a sales associate after the internship.

Now, let's end with the three normal, cool and bright parts.

1. Being able to visit Walt Disney World for free and still feeling that magic. You know despite living that backstage life on the regular, I still managed to live in the magic of Disney when I visited during my free time. What can I say? Disney is damn good at creating a special feeling for kids and adults! Although I was working there for months before making my very first official visit to Disney as a guest, I still was super excited to meet Mickey and Minnie Mouse. My inner child was just bursting with joy. I was still in awe of the shows I went to and the other characters I met. I'm sure some of them were giving me the side eye because I was there by myself but I didn't care. I was enjoying it wholeheartedly and would recommend anyone - young and old - who hasn't visited to come through to Mickey's streets!

2. Meeting some pretty cool people from all over the world. To be honest, I wish I took more advantage of my opportunity and interacted with more people while there but I was shy and dealing with depression (you'll learn more about that in the next point). However, I still managed to meet some cool people from my Oklahoma girls to my cool chick from Japan. I also met someone who gave me the best advice about getting a tattoo and it stuck with me to this day (and I haven't gotten a tattoo yet thanks to her wisdom...still waiting for the timeless inspiration). And there was also my gay boyfriend who was so flamboyant but really thought he could make his ex jealous with me. lol His hugs were the sweetest though so I didn't mind playing my role. 😊

3. Learning one of the biggest lessons of my life. Honestly, I went to Disney World to escape my depression. Before I realized I had Generalized Anxiety Disorder, I was just a nervous and sad young lady feeling the pressure of figuring out what to do with the rest of my life. Looking back, it's pretty ridiculous to feel that way but hey, it happens to 20 somethings. Also, I just felt like I wasn't growing up at the same rate as everyone else so ironically, I thought taking a huge risk like going to Orlando for an internship at Disney would help shake off this inferior complex and make me feel like an adult but I learned a huge lesson - you can't escape your emotions no matter how far you travel. They only travel with you and eventually, you just have to face them head on so I went back home earlier than planned and did just that. So despite the abrupt ending of my time as an intern at Disney World, I have absolutely no regrets about this experience because I learned one of biggest lessons in my life.

Now I know I am definitely not the only one who can share some stories about working at Walt Disney World. In fact, the popular YouTuber, Swoozie, worked at Disney World while in high school and has hilarious stories because of it. I could definitely relate to some of the craziness. lol Watch a few of his funny stories below.

Have you ever worked at Disney before or do you know someone who did the internship? How was it for you/them? I'd love to read your stories!

a poem i wrote about the moonlight

Moonlight

I found you

in the back of the room.

You stood

still.

Like a stranger

with eyes fixed

on the spotlight.

You stared

at the many shades

of white,

golden in its

luminescent.

And I…

I stood

still.

Like a friend

with eyes fixed

on the moonlight.

Sidebar: I honestly didn't write this poem with an intention on aligning it with the film Moonlight. In fact, I was just writing because it flowed and that came out. Funny how much something can be engrained in you that it follows you wherever you may go creatively and literally.

the words that come out when you have nothing to say

I stare at blank screens, blank pages and blank thoughts, waiting for a letter, a word, a sentence, an emotion to jolt me back to life. I walk away from the stale canvas and begin to pace in my private space - back and forth I go - collecting as many random thoughts as possible in hopes that one will be the starting point of pure magic. It's rare to have one of those magic moments as a writer or perhaps, that's just the case with me. However, I find it hard to believe that someone can have the stars align perfectly that many times unless it's someone at their highest creative state.

I'm not at my highest creative state.

Therefore, I live in blank scenes, blank pauses and blank times, waiting for the perfect moment to finally fill in the emptiness with feelings and frequencies. Until then, I'm silent, even when words appear to be right on schedule - I'm silent. Old words do not count as utterances of the present so my presence is a pleasant lie. Most will not notice my faux pas. In fact, I am willing to bet that no one sees this but me.

No one sees this but me.

Blank moods inspire blank hues so no wonder I've been bankrupt with words. I have no deposit since I've been completely depleted for a while now. I got to gather some experiences, some literature, some stories, and some energy to infuse my genuine love for the written word. Until then, I'll whisper a little...

I can always whisper.

treat yourself the way you want to be treated

“Treat others the way you want to be treated” is a classic saying that you have probably heard many times. However, “treat you the way you want to be treated” is not a common saying but just as important.

If you were able to objectively view your inner dialogue with self, what would the conversation be like? Would it be a loving rapport? Would you consider yourself a best friend or a worst enemy? Do you belittle yourself every chance you get? Do you empower yourself sometimes? Do you tell yourself how wonderful you are? Do you say “you’re beautiful” or “good job” or “you’ll get there” or any other positive affirmation that you would normally tell your family or friends?

If you were able to objectively view your actions towards yourself, what would the relationship be like? Are you loving, kind, compassionate, accepting? Do you treat you like royalty? Do you give yourself gifts, take yourself out on fun dates, spend quality time with you? Do you go on nice walks and have great talks with yourself where you understand you so much better? Do you forgive yourself and notice the blessing in the lesson? Do you abuse yourself mentally, emotionally, spiritually, physically? Do you care about your emotions and treat them tenderly? Is there a high level of respect in this relationship? Is there unconditional love in this relationship, the kind you truly want in a relationship with others?

How can you expect someone to treat you like gold if you are treating yourself like a piece of coal? Even if another person is trying their hardest to treat you as the priceless human being that you are, there is only so much he or she can do without pushing your own limitations of you.

How can you expect someone to treat you like gold if you are treating yourself like a piece of coal?

There are a number of ways to treat yourself better. Here are three quick ones:

1) Seek a dream of yours and follow through on it. It can be as simple as meditating for one hour per day or as elaborate as publishing your very first song. Whatever the case may be, find one dream of yours, develop a plan and then execute it. Automatically, you will be giving yourself the chance to make a dream into reality and that is the most surreal feeling in the world once you see it in fruition. It will boost your self-worth tremendously.

2) Be nice to yourself. Whenever a negative thought about you comes to mind, try to stop it midway and think of a positive one. For instance, as soon as you think of a physical trait that you view in a negative light, find a physical trait that you do find attractive. This may take some time to get used to but mindfulness brings many opportunities to be more kind to yourself and confidence will build as a result.

3) Take yourself out sometimes. You, yes you, DESERVE time for yourself! Celebrate you. Get out your favorite outfit and paint the town red with love! Go to your favorite restaurant; buy that book you were eyeing; go to the festival that features your favorite artist. Hell, if you can, make a day all about you! Go to the spa. Go to the movies. As one of my favorite YouTubers, Shameless Maya, says, “Do you, boo!”

So yes, the classic saying is classic for a reason but please remember that the way you treat you is just as important because if you feel good about you then you will, of course, want everyone else to feel good with you so go on and make this saying a new classic in your life “Treat you the way you want to be treated.”

What are some more ways you treat yourself? Please share and let's uplift each other! 

a poem i wrote about unconditional love

Unconditioned Note

Ultimately I want you to be at peace

Peace is not perfect

So I would never expect you to be

Any imagined ideal in a childhood fantasy

Ultimately, I want you to be free

Free is not confined to fear

So I would never expect you to follow

Any insecure boundaries of tomorrow

Ultimately, I want you to be loved

Love is unconditional

So I would never expect you to embrace

Conditions based on what society creates

Ultimately, I want you to be

being is magnificent

so I would never expect you to be

anything else

5 definite signs you're super single as f&^%

Happy Valentine's Day lovers! I pray you guys have the most romantic day ever. I really do. No bullshit. I already hooked you guys up yesterday with some sweet sounds from the one and only Mr. Brian McKnight so y'all good. Now, I got to spend some time showing love to my fellow super single folks. You know, this day ain't so bad. We get to scratch our asses whenever we'd like; we get to buy ourselves whatever we want; we get to netflix and chill by ourselves and we get to wear our favorite comfortable PJs tonight. It sounds like a great Valentine's Day night if you ask me or is this another sign that I am super single as fuck? Maybe. Speaking of which, here are 5 definite signs you are actually super single as fuck too. Enjoy!

1. Everyone gets a little more attractive. Who needs liquor when you have a dry spell for much longer than you care to admit? The struggle can be real which makes your eyes a little less discerning when it comes to looks and makes your mind less demanding when it comes to other qualities that you would've deemed as deal breakers in the past. Hey, it may sound wrong but it's true so if you find yourself with tipsy shades 24/7, then you, my friend, is super single as fuck.

2. The empty side of your bed and passenger car seat is filled with stuff. Have you ever laid in bed and noticed your purse is snuggling right beside you along with some additional random items like a pair of pants and mail? Or your passenger seat looks like an episode of hoarders? Yup? Well, you are 9 times out of 10 super single as fuck.

3. You have absolutely nothing sexy in your closet. You pick cozy over cute. Why purchase anything silky when cotton is so much more comfy!? In fact, your cutest piece of "lingerie" is your grandma high-waisted drawers with the strawberries on it. Hey, some guy may dig it! In the meantime, you'll probably be super single as fuck.

4. You are totally oblivious to flirting. An attractive guy walks up to you, smiles, asks you 21 questions, maintains eye contact, jokes with you and you? Well, you answer all the questions, look away after each one and chuckle slightly when he jokes. You're too busy thinking about what great meal you're going to have when you leave. Damn shame when dinner could've been on him or hell, dinner could've just been him. However, you are super single as fuck so you don't even notice all the signs of interest at all. I bet your friends tell you when someone is interested in you more so than your own brain.

5. You get a pet cat and treat Mr. Snickers like your only child. I don't think I need to say anything more than that.

So what are some other signs you can think of? Also, are you super single as fuck and loving it? Let me know below so we can share some laughs on this lovely day.

what's that on your neck? oh just a tracheostomy

You can say I didn't have the typical entrance into the world. I was scheduled to say hi to Mother Earth in November but my anxious ass decided that I wanted to come out during Leo season in August. (No offense to Scorpios, I represent via my ascending sign 😉) Anywho, I was one hell of a premie which caused some complications to say the least. I couldn't breathe that well and so the doctors had to do an emergency surgery and bless me with a tracheostomy. If you are like, what's that? Well, I'll have Mayo Clinic help you out.

Tracheostomy (tray-key-OS-tuh-me) is a surgically created hole through the front of your neck and into your windpipe (trachea). The term for the surgical procedure to create this opening is tracheotomy.

A tracheostomy provides an air passage to help you breathe when the usual route for breathing is somehow obstructed or impaired. A tracheostomy is often needed when health problems require long-term use of a machine (ventilator) to help you breathe. In rare cases, an emergency tracheotomy is performed when your airway is suddenly blocked, such as after a traumatic injury to your face or neck.

When a tracheostomy is no longer needed, it's allowed to heal shut or is surgically closed. For some people, a tracheostomy is permanent. Source)

With such a major surgery, you could view this as a rather traumatic way to be born and I'm sure there's some truth to it but I'd like to look at it as more so an interesting unique story to share with folks who are curious about my indentation on my neck.

I also have some cool memories of my time in and out of the hospital for the first years of my life. Two of them, of course, relate to food. What can I say? I guess my greedy ass was just born this way. Anyway, I remember one of the nurses sneaking me chocolate pudding in the middle of night, and being so excited about it in the dimly lit room. I also remember hanging out with my medical staff and being asked if I've ever tried corn flakes. I've never had them but I was always curious about what they tasted like when I saw the constant commercials on TV. So once the opportunity came to try them, I was ready and guess what? I was absolutely no fan. The last memory is unique from the other two. I remember being scared when all the doctors and nurses surrounded me with their masks and then waking up in a totally new space, puzzled by what just happened. Anesthesia was a foreign concept at that point.

So my little tracheostomy is a wonderful reminder of how blessed I am to be alive and how wonderful my family - blood-related and medically-unrelated truly is to have worked so hard for my life. I will always be grateful.

I'm sharing this story because I just want all of us to embrace our differences and realize just how beautiful our uniqueness truly is when we engage and learn more about our scars!

3 ideas I'm willing to try to become a better blogger's blogger

Is it weird that I am a blogger and have the hardest time keeping up with my fellow bloggers? It's not that I am not interested either. I'm very much curious about what my fellow bloggers are writing about on the interwebs but for some reason, I am not good at reading a bunch of bloggers on a consistent basis. I do have my faves that I go back to on a somewhat consistent basis but even with them, they see my participation like once or twice a month. The struggle is real y'all. I see some bloggers who have a huge family, 18 kids, a million friends, 5 side hustles, 3 main jobs, a youtube channel, a daily blog, and a pet chicken and still able to read more blogs than me. I'm like... How sway!?

I got a full time job, this blog, a slight addiction to YouTube and Instagram, a huge love for music and food, and a problem sleeping at a decent hour. That's it and I'm struggling. So this year, I am going to try my hardest to improve on this so I am working on some ideas on how to get better. Let me share them with you and you can tell me what you think.

Idea #1: Figure out a way to turn all blog posts into mini audiobooks. I can listen my way through them. Play a little Stevie Wonder and then a little "5 Fashion Styles That'll Get You A Bae in 5 Minutes."

Idea #2: Ask bloggers to study telepathy so they can send their posts via the mind. That way, I can just know about all the bloggers' content on a pure conscious level. It works for me.

Idea #3: Develop smell-a-blog for all blogs. Some may smell like chocolate, others may smell like buttered popcorn and my ultimate favorites will smell like mama's cooking with a different speciality each week like grits on Monday, mac and cheese on Friday and freshly-baked apple pie on Sunday. I would be on those blogs faithfully like the greedy mofo I am.

So that's just the three main ideas I have for right now. I believe one of them will help me, for sure!

Of course, you may have an even better idea, especially my fellow bloggers who are reading this so can you guys please share your ideas and thoughts with me on how you stay on top with reading all the blogs while living a busy lifestyle? I need help! 😅

so tardy for george michael's party

George Michael,

I really hope you aren't silently judging me for not knowing your awesomeness. As an 80's baby, I should've known better. Of course, I did know your hits. I specifically remember you shaking your butt with those classic blue jeans and super cool leather jacket in the Faith music video. I'm sorry if you cringe to this fact but it's true. That's what I remember. I also remember Freedom! '90 and how much I liked that song but I totally missed the Wham! era. I didn't even exist when you started so part of the blame has to be on my parents, right?

via GIPHY

Furthermore, a few years ago, I was in the process of looking into your discography. I had super good intentions, George. I searched your name on Wikipedia and went to your latest album to start my journey down musical memory lane but my attention span stopped me at Patience. How ironic. It had nothing to do with the music. I was actually jamming to it and I had plans on going back to my discovery of your work but then life distracted me. And then you transitioned suddenly and well... you can say that that made me wake up and smell the coffee! Unfortunately, it took such a drastic change in your energy for me to take notice once again to your awesomeness. Yes, the music lover can be tardy to the party too. Fortunately, you blessed us all with your music so I got a chance to finally listen and watch pieces of your Wham! era. Nice hair, man. I also finally got the opportunity to see your growth from young superstar to a full grown musician, fighting hard to control your sound, image, and your business. Much respect to you.

Throughout the years, one thing that was consistent is your lovely voice that flowed through R&B, Soul, Rock and Pop effortlessly. You did a duet with the legendary soul singer Aretha Franklin and held your own. I mean that in and of itself just shows how talented you have to be to do that successfully. With your signature voice, you remade so many classic songs and put your own stamp on them. Like Prince, you will truly be missed and I am sorry it took me this long to discover your dope music. Please forgive me for being so tardy to your party. Oh, and by the way, George, I am doing a huge favor for anyone who is super late like me. I am sharing a playlist I created with your songs that span across your entire career. See?

That has to count for something right?

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I hope so, George.

A Magical Story About My Granddad

When I was 10 years old, my granddad passed away. I've never had a super close connection to him, but I do remember noticing, even at a young age, that he had a huge presence, which was intimidating for my little shy self. He was very well known around my hometown, Philadelphia, for his activism in the 1960s and 70s. Also, he was pretty popular across the country for his social work. He was so well loved by the community that I vaguely remember Philadelphia's first poet laureate, Sonia Sanchez performing her signature spoken word at his funeral. Since then, I've thought about him sometimes, curious about his life and what he is up to on the other side. I've also talked to him while in prayer whenever a family problem occurred and I'd like to think he helped mend some brokenness in my extended family as a result. However, I never really knew if he was actually there for me until one magical night many years after his passing.

I was in my late twenties, going through the motions of life. On this particular night, I was extremely vulnerable and emotional, crying profusely and praying for a hug. After a long night, I went to bed and had a dream that I'll never forget.

my granddad :)

I was on a crowded bus with some people that I apparently knew but in real life, I didn't know at all. There were many conversations happening around me but I was quiet, looking around, trying to figure out where I was exactly. Soon after, I got off the bus, unsure if it was the right stop. I realized my friends weren't with me so it must've been the wrong one but I kept walking anyway down this winding road that led to the most beautiful pathway I've ever seen. It was kind of like a golden alleyway between two gorgeous buildings that were literally covered with flowers. The flowers were nothing like I've ever seen while on Earth and the colors were so vivid, even their hues were unnoticeable to my human self.  Once I walked down this short magical pathway, I ended up at a mall in the basement lobby area. It actually reminded me of an actual mall in Philly, The Liberty Place. When I opened the door, I was greeted by one of my older co-workers who I actually do know in this life. We made a little small talk and then in mid-conversation, I looked over to see my granddad.

He had on a long black trench coat and I believe he had on a matching top hat as well if I remember correctly. I wish I could fully articulate how I felt when I saw him. I guess the closest I could compare it to is when you are a kid and you think you are not getting any Christmas presents but then you come down on Christmas day and you see all the gifts you wanted for the holidays. It was like that times ten. My heart was filled with so much love and I was just so damn excited to see him after so many years. I went right back to my 10-year-old self and said "Granddad!!!" and immediately hugged him.

It was the warmest hug ever.

After our lovely embrace, he joked about how young he looked compared to the last time I saw him. I must admit - my granddad was looking good out here in these heavenly streets. He was slimmer, had darker hair and lost all his wrinkles from the last time I saw him, similar to the picture above. We both laughed at his funny joke and then suddenly, I woke up.

With my eyes barely open, my mind began to race with happy thoughts and I felt much better than I did the night before. I truly believe my granddad made a special visit to give me what I prayed for - a hug and I am so thankful for the love he showed when I needed it the most. So I am sharing this story to let you know that the power of prayer is real and you never know who could be listening to answer it for you.

Now, I am curious if any of you guys have had similar supernatural/spiritual experiences like mines. If so, please share! I love reading stories like these.

that moment when you realize you and j. cole share the same controversial view of god

"See I believe if God is real, he'll never judge a manBecause he knows us all and therefore he would understand"

That's just a couple bars from J. Cole's latest album - 4 Your Eyez Only and I must say they are my favorite lines on the entire album. If you are a fan of his then you know he got plenty of bars to choose from but these few lyrics really resonate with me, not only because it is featured on one of my favorite songs, Change but also due to its deeper meaning. And when I heard this record for the first time, I realized that J. Cole and I share a very similar, if not the same, controversial view of God.

You see, there is a duality with everything in life. There's black and white, big and small, male and female, love and fear and I could go on and on with simple examples but I'm sure you get my point. There's even a duality with how we view God. Some people, who usually follow certain religious practices, view God as a vengeful being who will damn people to hell if they do not follow a certain righteous path. Others, like myself and J. Cole, believe in a more accepting God that loves unconditionally and would never judge any of his/her creation because he/she knows and understands all, even if we, mere mortals, have no idea why a person would do such a horrific action towards another. Granted, there is a lot of gray area in the middle but the majority of people have a tendency to lean towards one extreme or another. For J. Cole, he leans towards the second view of God, which ironically, is the more controversial belief in our society because it goes against many religious doctrines. In his new Eyez Documentary, that shows the making of his newest LP, Cole shows his strong alignment with this way of thinking, when someone tells him a crazy true story about a young man who, after a major blowup with his family, commits an unfathomable crime.

As you can see from the video clip, he truly follows the latter perspective of God, making him able to shift the scope, even in this extreme case, from the murderer being deemed as a "bad kid" to a "good kid" at heart who went down the wrong path due to issues and other major mishaps.  In addition, he believes everyone should really view others from this vantage point, no matter their race, which shows great compassion and unconditional love towards humanity. I also wouldn't be surprised, if this empathy stems from witnessing so many men and women who look like him being mistreated and prejudged due to a false narrative of being "bad" when really the narrative should've been about the institutional oppression that happens while being Black. If you think about it, this viewpoint could influence a positive shift in police brutality,  the prison system and mental health awareness. However, all of these drastic changes would have to start at the root - the Spirit and that may be the hardest aspect to change, leading us into a never-ending debate that will never get resolved anytime soon.

So in the meantime, I'll turn up J. Cole's song and remember that "Life is all about the evolution" and keep being open to the many layers of God, the Universe and what it all means, which leads me to you guys. Let's have a conversation about this. 

What are your thoughts on this duality with God? Is it possible to see a gray area? And how do you feel about J. Cole and I's stance on it all? Let's talk about it!

my sister & a sprig of rosemary: a funny story on the power of synchronicity

Have you ever planned a major meal and browsed through your local grocery store only to find out that a major ingredient is missing? Have you ever felt the heartbreak of such a tragic event when your entire menu seems to crumble into pieces even if you have all the other ingredients for everything else? You simply want to give up your chef’s hat and walk away in defeat but then, something miraculous happens and you know that God is on the look out for the cookout - literally.

Let me tell you the story about my sister and a sprig of rosemary. So this past weekend, my sister planned this elaborate meal for a belated Thanksgiving family celebration. Being the good sister I am, I met up with her the day before to help her prepare for the occasion, including grocery shopping. While going up and down the aisles, we both gathered the necessary items that were on our list with ease until something absolutely horrifying stopped us in our tracks -

There.

was.

no.

rosemary.

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We searched throughout the spice section in hopes to find any brand of rosemary but there was nada, nothing, zilch! I could see the anguish in my sister’s eyes and she told me that the chicken stock would not be the same without this key ingredient. After staring at the sparse section of seasonings, we eventually continued our shopping, a little more empty than we were when we arrived. There was a hole inside of us, especially my sister who was cooking the whole meal, that only that savory rosemary could fill.

To make ourselves feel somewhat better, we decided to put all the groceries away and go out to eat since cooking was out of the question at this point. Also, we love food a little too much. We went to a pretty fancy diner that really felt more like a cozy restaurant; and I immediately went towards the comfort food because the devastation was too much to bare without a warm dinner and a soothing drink. So my sister got her go-to dish - huevos rancheros. She was oddly in the mood for Mexican food. Hey, whatever makes you cope the best. For me, I got meatloaf, mashed potatoes and seasonal vegetables.

Now, this is when the hand of God was at work. My plate of food came out first and was placed right in front of me. My sister immediately noticed something magnificent at the center of my mashed potatoes -

A

sprig.

of.

rosemary.

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The way her eyes lit up, you would’ve thought she saw Mother Mary. Who knows? Perhaps, she had something to do with this incredible intervention from God. I mean really, what are the odds that a sprig of rosemary would be standing at attention in the middle of my mashed potatoes, like “Hey…you were looking for me”?

My sister quickly realized, more than ever before, the power of synchronicity and how awesome God can be during times of trouble. God can part the seas for a sprig of rosemary. God can put the thought in my head to get meatloaf (which I rarely get) in order to align everything just right for my sad sister. Her frown turned all the way up into a big smile and I turned into the best little sister ever by laughing at her excitement all the way home.

So let this story be a friendly reminder that when you are aligned with your purpose, God, the Universe, the All That Is, the Source will work with you to see it through, even if your purpose at the moment is cooking the best chicken stock that was hardly used.